Nothing will ruin a good run like...

Got some brand new running shoes today - very exciting. I went to a running store not far from my home. They seemed pretty good, and I will probably go back to this store. They also do track workouts on Tuesday nights which is awesome - I can only hope they are as good as my old running club in Naperville.

Anyway, I got some new shoes and strapped them on for my first run. They felt pretty good on the way out and I was feeling groovy. All of a sudden it hit me - there was some definite motion going on in my bowels. This was upsetting because

A) I had taken a dookie before I left the house
B) I was having a good run
C) I was about as far from my house as I could be

What is a guy to do? After a little internal debate I turned around and started to walk it in (the bumping and jolts of running doesn't help this kind of situation). This is by far my number one least favorite way to end a run. I would much rather have cramps or exhaustion or pain than the 'ol BD (Bi logical Distress).

What a way to break in some new shoes.

The fat lady has sung (on the iPod anyway)

The wedding is over, everything was great and went off without a hitch. For my part, the master of ceremonies went well as did the best man speech. Now I need to go to bed - we start union negotiations this week - our contract is up on Sunday!

The big weekend

This weekend is my brother's wedding. I am the best man. This makes you the but of a lot of jokes, such as

- they searched the whole world and you were the best they could find?
- If you were REALLY the best man, you would stop him from doing what he is about to do!

Okay, well, two jokes. But I have heard them a lot this week, particularly #1. With all that said, I am very glad for my brother and have no doubt that he is doing a wonderful thing. It would really NOT be in his best interest to stop him as per #2.

Now I just have to fine tune my best man speech - it's a tall order really. I just might pull out some old standards - like starting the speech and saying "I've prepared a few words" and then pulling out many sheets of paper taped together as if I had a long list of notes. Might be good for a quick laugh.

How I love my brother

I am the best man in my brother's wedding this Saturday. I can tell that it is important to me because everyday this week I have been coming home from my jog, getting out of the shower, and plucking nose hairs. Yes, that's right, plucking nose hairs. With tweezers. It is excruciating.

Mind you, this is all my own doing - he has made no requests that lead me to believe he would have even thought about my nose hairs. But gosh darn, if he has taught me one thing, there is a right way to do everything, and if you really, really want to have a nice clean nose, you have to pluck - the trimmer just doesn't do the job.

Try it... it makes you cry and sneeze all at once! I am not even kidding.